Obsessed transcript
Season 1 · Episode 13. Generated automatically, so expect the odd misheard word.
Hello and welcome to the Worst Movie Podcast. I'm Ade
And I'm Aaron, and this is a podcast where we watch the worst movies ever made in the hopes of finding a hidden gem.
Enjoy.
Happy Thanksgiving. I hear you're not coming to my house for Thanksgiving, Aaron.
Nope, doing it just the three of us here, me, my brother, and my lady.
Well, okay,
I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna hear it.
I don't want your Tofurkey roll. We've already established that meat eaters hate vegans, so.
I know how you feel about me now.
Well, I'm going to send my troll army, my goblin army to your house.
I'm not eating anything that's covered in green goo.
Yeah. ⁓
or spoiled
milk.
But man, I wish I would have thought of this before and just brought a green pumpkin pie to your house.
What have you been watching lately? Anything interesting?
I've been hate watching Scandal with Amanda.
Why hate watching?
I don't like the characters. It's so it's by the same woman Shonda Rhimes, who does Grey's Anatomy. And I don't know, I don't like the way she writes characters. They're just not believable. Like, OK, so Kerry Washington's character is supposed to be this brilliant, tough as nails, smart.
Yeah.
go get her, can get anything done. But then she also falls for like every charming, horrible man that comes into her life. Like she's just incapable of resisting these losers that she surrounds herself with. Like, I don't know if you've seen the show, but.
I maybe saw half an episode or one episode, I don't know.
Like, how am I supposed to take her as a serious person when she just swoons every time the president says something remotely nice to her? She just can't.
smart capable
women can't have love interest too.
They can. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying these men are horrible. They're obviously horrible men. And can't stay away from them, I guess. I don't know. Anyway, it's a guilty pleasure.
Yeah.
Well, it doesn't seem like it's a pleasure. seems like it seems like you hate it.
Well, Amanda lets me
Amanda lets me talk during the episodes and make jokes and so I get to feel really funny when we watch it.
Ha
Does she enjoy it?
I think she likes it for the same reasons I do, like a guilty pleasure type thing. Like she knows it's not incredibly well written TV, that there are better shows, but it is like it's almost like a soap opera where you just watch it just because you're in it.
I mean, it sounds like she enjoys it and she tolerates you sitting next to her trying to ruin it for her. That's not going to last long. How many seasons in are you?
That might be.
I don't know, man. So I don't watch all of the episodes with her. I might, I might come in for.
So you're watching bits
and pieces and just walking in and like, this sucks.
Yeah.
Yeah. Now that you put it that way, like I might be the problem.
Yeah.
Now she knows how to act next time you try to rewatch Sopranos or something like that.
Yeah.
What have you been watching?
Well, two movies that I watched recently that I enjoyed one in theaters. saw Bugonia, The new Emma Stone movie by your ghosts. Lanthimos. really. Yes. who I didn't recognize in the movie, but I don't think that's a spoiler, but.
Does it have Alicia Silverstone in it?
⁓ yeah, it's kind of a crazy movie. Jesse Plemons is in it too. And he's incredible on it. I thought, I thought the acting was a credible story was great. it's a little, it's a little out there, so fair warning. Not, the premise is two people kidnap a played by Emma Stone.
What's it about?
because they think she's secretly an alien. ⁓ What were you hoping the movie would be?
Nice.
I don't know, vigilante justice?
I mean, it kind of speaks. Yeah, I mean, it's a little bit of both. It does have some social commentary for you. you'll like, you'll like that bit of it. so I really enjoyed that again. ⁓ sodden theaters, some theaters right now. And the other movie I wanted to mention is ballad of a small player. It was recently released on Netflix. It stars.
not Looney Tunes, thin foil hat.
Yes.
Colin Farrell and it didn't get great reviews and I understand why. So I think it's not for everybody, but I thought visually the movie was really stunning. It's about a degenerate gambler in Macau playing baccarat at to essentially get himself out of a hole. I've never played baccarat at before in my life, but as a
fan of gambling. I connected with the movie. Yeah, quasi degenerate.
as a degenerate yourself.
Well, should we talk about the movie for today? Obsessed from 2009 starring Idris Elba, Beyonce and Ali Larter. Larter? Did I say that weird?
You did, you said LARTA.
Larter. I don't know what accent I was trying there. Ali Larter.
Larger, Larger.
There you go. And Bruce McGill.
I don't know that reference. Is that Simpsons? ⁓ that's just the name of someone.
He's just in it. No, he's just in this movie. ⁓
we're on fire again. The worst movie podcast ⁓ has has a double meaning. ⁓ Anyway, yes, directed by Steve Schill. This is his one and only film credit. He is a very accomplished TV director. Some of the reviews of this movie basically knocked him saying
Yeah, off to a great start. Yeah.
It felt like this was an episode of law and order or something like that. Like it didn't seem like a movie. seemed like a TV show. And I guess it was filmed kind of like a TV show. It was a very short shoot and they had very limited coverage and a lot of it was done on sets and. Yeah.
It felt like a long episode.
Yeah. 19 % on Rotten Tomatoes. So not terrible, but just not very good reviews. Two and a half on Letterbox. It was successful in the box office. opened number one on the week it opened and made 74 million at the box office on a $20 million budget. So not bad.
Got that Beyonce draw.
Yeah, I mean that was in the background of this. was certainly the number one marketing. push of this movie Beyonce signed on to be an executive producer and basically her involvement guaranteed financing of this movie. It's a big part in how they marketed the movie pushed it. I should say this this movie concludes our naughty November month.
And, mom, feel free to listen to this episode because this is a PG 13 movie. Not very naughty come to, yeah, it turns out it was kind of, it seemed from the trailer and the premise that maybe it would have been kind of naughty, but, really wasn't.
Turns out.
It's almost bordering on scandalous, but it's not quite that either.
Yeah, not yeah, not naughty. So it seemed like part of Beyonce's involvement also meant that a PG-13 rating was non-negotiable. They wanted teenage girls, Beyonce fans to be able to attend. And so there was a lot that was rewritten in this movie. So as to be not as naughty.
suffice to say zero nudity in this zero, sex on screen or anything even close to it.
Yeah, I think sex is alluded to in this movie several times. And even between Ali Larter character and Idris Elba, like, they talk about it, but we never see it, never happens. So, not very naughty.
between the husband and wife. But yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. ⁓
not very naughty at all. I read that basically every time Beyonce's team reviewed a draft of this movie, anything that could make her character or Idris Elba's character, which he plays her husband in this movie, anything that could make either of them appear morally flawed was removed. So what you ended up with was basically like two characters who were perfect.
And then Ali Larter character being pretty one note villain in this as well.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty clear that that's the case that they took out any flaws in their characters because there's zero tension between between Idris Elba's character and Ali Larter's character because he's not tempted by her at all.
before we go too much further, why don't you give a quick overview of the story?
Idris Elba plays a character named Derek Charles, who's a successful businessman. I don't know what he does really. ⁓ Okay, and he's managing portfolios that are like millions of dollars. He's a big shot. ⁓ And he's got a solid marriage to Beyonce. They have a young son and...
He's a financial advisor.
Yeah.
the movie starts with a temporary employee getting hired at his firm or his office named Lisa played by Ali Larter they meet in the elevator on their way up on her first day and then he realizes, she's working in his office and that's convenient. And they had their meet cute and everything. but she is insane. She's completely fucking insane.
Yeah.
She decides that he is in love with her, that he flirted with her, that he doesn't love his wife, they're gonna get a divorce, and she kind of forces herself on him at several points throughout the movie, despite him showing no attraction or inclination to be interested. And then stages a series of incidents and things to...
kind of destroy his marriage and get him in trouble with the law possibly and all of this scandal takes place after she begins working for him.
Let's try something a little bit different. What did you think of this movie high level. Did you like it? No.
No, I didn't like it. I thought it was very forgettable and bland. There were good performances. Like I think Idris Elba was fine. Beyonce was fine. I like Beyonce as an actress from what I've seen. And Ali Larter was genuinely a little bit scary as like this insane woman that will stop at nothing to destroy your life.
Yeah.
the whitewashing of it, where they took any sort of controversy or scandal out of the movie. So it was, it was based roughly on fatal attraction, where in that movie Michael Douglas actually sleeps with the woman and that's the tension and the actual drama in the movie is that he was tempted by her and gave in. But in this movie,
Idris Elba is the perfect flawless husband who is just like, get out of my car, get away from me every time she tries to tempt him. And there's just no drama there in that. also.
You
I think that this movie was ripe for some sort of racial tension because it's a black couple and he's being tempted by this white woman. And there could have been statement there or story or just some sort of tension, but they didn't touch it at all. I read that Idris Elba signed onto this movie explicitly because it didn't have any racial tension. like, well, there's no tension to this movie then. It's it's bland.
You
Yeah. feel like this was the most fine movie we've, we've watched so far for this podcast. The most meh. Like I will. Yes. I will not remember it tomorrow. Probably. I barely remember it today. And I watched this last night. and yeah, it's not, there's not a lot that I.
You
It's one of the movies of all time.
Yeah.
like, that was terrible. I do agree that the performances were, were good. I really liked Ali Larter performance. but yeah, the story was just kind of, yeah, it would have been a good like 45 minute episode of TV.
Yeah, as I was walking up here to do now, I told Amanda, I'm like, I'm a little worried I don't have enough to say about this movie. I literally said that it might be 20 minutes. I don't know.
It's going to be our first 15 minute episode.
Yeah. Well, I have some burning questions. ⁓ So one of the first big scenes is there's this company holiday party that they go to where Ali Larter character first aggressively comes on to Idris Elba. I've overthought the scene a lot because let's start with what kind of company holiday party doesn't have food.
Okay.
tells Idris, make sure to eat before you go to this. Yeah. Several times. Like it was important enough in the story for them to like write several lines of dialogue about this. So he goes. Yeah. So he goes and has dinner at the bar somewhere. I couldn't tell if this was just, yeah, where this bar was. And,
Several times.
You're gonna be drinking, so eat something.
I didn't know where that was either.
Alley Larter meets him there and they, they each have a burger so yeah, what, what company party doesn't have food? And then that segues into my bigger burning question, which is how many HR violations happen at this party? And that's a loaded question because my answer is all of them.
So this is a company party with no food. seems like a bottomless tequila. dancing with each other, which I've been to lot of holiday parties and I feel like you start to cross some lines once you have coworkers dancing with each other. They've mentioned several times that no spouses are allowed. Yeah, yeah. And for some convoluted reason.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're not even invited.
Because the employees won't let loose in front of their spouse and they want you relax and get to know your coworkers. I'm like, that is insane backwards ass logic. I'm way more comfortable in front of Amanda than I would be in front of my coworkers.
That's a core value of the company.
⁓ Have you ever, I mean, I don't want to get you in trouble, but have you ever danced with any of your coworkers at a company party? Could you imagine?
No, that's insane.
I don't think there's ever been dancing. The best we ever got was like a keg of beer in a cubicle and you'd stop by and fill your cup up on your way back to work.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, but there's, there's some hardcore dancing. And then I'm just watching this holiday party unfold in the background. And my mind just spinning just have anxiety watching all this stuff, but then it just, it just goes a hundred X when Jerry O'Connell's character says something about Sally Sloan gave us all lap dances last year.
Like what? I don't know who Sally was. she wasn't mentioned anymore, but whether she's an employee or an outsider, that's just not okay at a company party. And I don't know how you keep working there after you've given all your coworkers lapdances. Like that would just, ⁓ yeah, exactly.
That would be my last day of work
I don't know how I would keep working there if somebody gave me a lap. I mean,
my God, yeah.
Can you imagine?
my first note for this movie is that in the, of like two screen minutes, we see, I just say that one of his employees is attractive and says, quote, if I were still single dot, dot, dot, then he touches her arm. Then he sticks an unknown CD that he got from her into a work computer and just clicks the.
Ha ha ha.
clicks play on this unknown thing. Like he just needed to click like a phishing link in an email just so he could do all the HR modules over at once. the HR at this place is either non-existent or they're overworked to the point of breaking.
I mean, there
is, it was a throwaway line, but they said something about HR. So HR exists. I think one of the first quotes in this movie, when somebody points out that Lisa is a temp, somebody says, I think you mean temp-tress.
I think that was Jerry O'Connell. can't remember. Yeah. So very, very horny workplace here.
I think it was. Yeah.
Yeah, and at this Christmas party, she forces herself onto him in the stall of the men's room another man in the bathroom too. So he's like trying to keep it quiet because she's forced him into this compromising position. And I'm like...
Yeah.
And that other man
seemed very excited to see what was happening in there.
I don't think
that guy would have given a damn if Idris Elba walked out with her.
Yeah, or he would have like, or he would have been like, hey guys, this is a work be messing around in the company bathroom.
You
Yeah.
Also, we find out early on that Beyonce and Idris Elba met while she was working at this company. And so like he flirted with a coworker already and married her. But yeah, there's a history there of apparently people hooking up at parties at this company.
Yeah.
Speaking bathrooms, I was in Las Vegas recently and went to the men's room. And as I'm... Why is that funny already?
⁓ I'm
just interested to see where this goes. That's all.
There's a payoff. So I walk into the men's room and as I'm walking towards the urinals, this young man comes out of one of the stalls, big grin on his face and like speed walks past the sink, past me and past the sinks out the door. And I'm like, that's weird. And then two seconds later, this young woman comes out of that same stall, bigger grin.
And one of those like super long frozen drink things. Yeah. And, exits the bathroom.
Oh my god, a yard, a yard mark.
Do think she was his mom and she was helping him go to the bathroom or? Yeah.
Probably,
But this was Vegas, I think kudos to them doing that in Vegas. This wasn't some company bathroom.
Yeah, if you're gonna do it anywhere, I'd say that's maybe the most appropriate place.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah. ahead a little bit in the story. we have another company event where this is an offsite this company just doesn't seem like it has great culture because they're the whole setup is that there's going to be some team bonding and no drinking, but pretty quickly devolves into all the guys are drinking and they're talking about getting some strippers or something, right. At this offsite.
Yep. Yeah.
And Ali Larter character shows up. She's rejected by Idris. And then she takes a bunch of pills in his hotel room and...
gets naked in his bed and overdoses. Also, she had quit the company by this point. So this was not an offsite for a company she still worked for. She was no longer temping there. So she just showed up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. And then we're introduced to a cop who starts to investigate question mark. This is my next burning question. What is the jurisdiction of this cop and is she investigating exactly?
Yeah, I was gonna say, are you sure that's what you'd call that?
I I wrote why is there even a cop involved in that? Like why? What is it? Was a crime committed? Was a law broken by her overdosing? Yeah, I didn't. I didn't get that and also just the dumbest There ever was. I mean, she eventually got to the truth, but it was like. Yeah, that that Ali Larter was ultimately an insane woman and.
You ⁓
I know.
Did she?
was a danger to Idris Elba's health and family.
I mean, in a very roundabout way. guess maybe she served the story.
But only because
it was so blatantly obvious. the Ali Larter was basically screaming in her face, I'm insane. And she was like, why would I just do this to you?
You
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I guess she served a part in the story to add some exposition. So we would know that she, her sister came to get her and stuff like that. yeah. So the cops, we were introduced to the cop, the cop interrogates Idris Elba in the hospital lobby. Like, would you actually do that as a cop?
No, I was like, they're just sitting among all of in the waiting area and she's like recording, an interview with a, I guess, suspect of something. I feel like because they made Idris Elba and Beyonce so infallible and perfect in this movie, they had to create a threat somewhere like.
Yeah.
Obviously their rock solid marriage was not going to fall apart because they're perfect people, but maybe there's this threat of jail for for something.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was. Yeah, I don't know what.
for having
a woman, an adult woman overdose in your bedroom? Like what law did he break?
Yeah, I mean, and between him and the cop, was all this dialogue and back and forth about whether or not he actually slept with her. it's like, does it, does it matter for the law? I mean,
They're both consenting adults, presumably. She didn't say she was raped or anything.
yeah, again, attempted suicide is not something that he should be put in jail for whether or not he had a relationship with her. So yeah, it was just very weird.
The cop delivered one of my favorite pieces of dialogue, I think, meaning one of the dumbest pieces of dialogue in a movie we've watched here. She's in Idris Elba's office and she says, this is Lisa's journal. It's a sort of diary, I guess, that she was keeping.
And Idris Elba, bless his heart, had to look at the journal pensively as if like, yeah, a diary is a kind of, a journal is a kind of diary.
A journal of sorts.
Yeah, and like, what does that... Again, what crime has been committed here that she's going through this woman's diary? And like, so what if he's having an affair with her? That's not a crime.
Yeah.
Yeah. And I mean, once she, even once she's discharged from the hospital, like there's no, I don't know what the case is to begin with, but I'm sure it's closed. it's she's left, she's left the state and, or at least at least the city she, she leaves from LA to San Francisco. guess that's the same state, right? Yeah.
Yeah.
lived.
Yeah, I believe so.
Yeah, so anyway, I don't know what the cop was in this movie.
Yeah, completely useless. Yeah, the cop didn't actually do anything other than pose as a vague threat of something to Idris Elba.
Yeah.
But like the whole time I'm watching this movie, I'm like, why doesn't he just tell HR or
Well, he starts to,
and then she's quit. And so he decides not to tell.
was playing with the idea of telling HR. He was asking coworkers it. And they were like, oh, you got a good thing going here, man. Like, don't get her fired. You're going to get her fired. Ruin her life like he was not. He was like thinking about it. And then he went and he was like about to tell somebody what actually happened.
why didn't he follow through with that? Or like, just tell the temp agency to send somebody else or have her reassigned to another floor? Why not tell his wife? So there's this conflict. The only conflict between them is that after the Christmas party, he came home and was about to tell Beyonce about what happened between this girl and him.
Yeah, I don't know.
And Beyonce launches into this story about how a friend of hers or her sister, her sister's husband cheated on her and left her and the family and like, how could anyone do that? And so he was like, maybe now's not the best time to tell her that somebody aggressively came on to me tonight. And so like, but why not tell her the next fucking day?
That's her sister, yeah.
or
tell her that's why I didn't tell you is because it was it. Yeah, it was like I was going to tell you, but it was, you know, when Christie was on the phone with you or whatever her name was. And it felt like the wrong time.
Also that he doesn't ever
Yeah,
there were very easy solutions to the problems that he get a restraining order. Even the cop, he's like, can I get a restraining order? And the cops like you could, but she left town. She's in San Francisco. So you don't even have to like do it anyway.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not that hard. And then you go to HR and be like, I have a restraining order against this person because they came on to me and I need to report it.
Yeah, I don't know. mean, you should have the Aaron edit. That's just a, it's just a TikTok video. Yeah. I mean, I guess I kind of empathize with them in the sense that if I was in his shoes, there is a certain point where you're like, huh, do I really need to go through the paperwork and all this shit? If, if I think she's not even
Movie over, 20 minutes.
Yeah.
It's the trailer.
In town anymore, like probably not. feels like work, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. And then, you know, I guess there's also this, a little bit of an element where he probably feels like people aren't going to believe him because nobody really does believe him. none of his buddies, all of it, all of his buddies are like, yeah, of course, you know.
Yeah.
Hell
yeah, the cute temps interested in you.
Yeah, like, of course you did something, right? Would you believe him?
Yeah.
No. And so like that's part of my issue is that this movie is ripe for a great story. accused of impropriety as a as a powerful man like he is like that's genuinely a scary thing. That's something that I think a lot of men think about and worry about that even the appearance of impropriety can get you in a lot of trouble.
Yeah.
And so like, that could have been a really great story or there could have been some, you know, some racial tension that they did with this story, but they didn't do any of that. And so it's ultimately, it's just like, okay, it's these two perfect people and one crazy woman and a useless cop that we have to watch for two fucking hours. Or however long it was, hour 55. How long was this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, it was, I think 104 minutes.
How many is that in hours?
108.
IMDB
says hour 48.
108 minutes. No, that's not right.
108 would be right.
yeah, yeah, yeah,
108 minutes.
Okay. Yeah, too long. Cut an hour off of it.
Too long didn't watch.
Make it a make it a succession episode.
Yeah, I agree. It definitely would have been a lot more interesting movie if there was some tension somewhere Do you think in the movie, do you think Idris Elba's character was attracted to her? Cause that was never really clear.
Yeah, I think he was. I mean...
Yeah, he'd have to be. mean, he's not just because he's married doesn't mean he's blind. You still know what an attractive person looks like. You're not just suddenly like your brain is, I don't know.
I mean, that's what happened to me once I got married is every woman is ugly except my wife. No, but I mean, there's a difference between noticing that somebody is attractive and being attracted to them. Like there, there are women that I'm like, yeah, she's attractive. I can see that people are attracted to her, but I'm not attracted to her.
Yeah, maybe.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think he was attracted to her romantically. I think he was attracted to her as like, obviously she looks nice, but he wasn't interested in her or like interested in pursuing her in any way.
And maybe that's the point that we're saying about how dull this movie is that like, even if he wouldn't have acted on any attraction, even just in the movie, if it was like, he was really attracted to her and wrestling with that temptation that would have made it a lot more interesting than what we got, which was just, Nope, no conflict at all. ⁓
Yeah.
Yeah, we watched
almost two hours of Idris Elba and this Ali Larter character interacting and we can't even tell if he was interested in her or not.
Yeah. this reminds me of the conversation, by the way, that we had on, 50 shades. what would that be like to be, to walk through life as attractive as Idris Elba and have women like Ali Larda. I can't say her name. I get tongue tied every time. Larter. I don't.
LARDA
I don't know why that's giving me trouble. Ally, let me try that again. A little spin. What would it be like to look like Idris Elba and have women like that throwing themselves at you?
putting some sauce on it.
I can't even imagine. I don't know.
So it's fair to say you haven't dealt with this scenario work yet.
No, definitely not. Yeah. By the way, am I saying Idris Elba and it's Idris? Is it Idris or Idris?
Okay, okay. made it.
I always thought it was Idris.
All right, help me Wikipedia.
Got to fact check this in real time.
Let me be right, let me be right.
I as in Kit Idris
I don't know if I've been saying Idris. Idris. Alright. Solved.
You have been saying Idris. It is Idris. We're not going to cut any of this because I was right.
That's fair. wait, no it's not.
⁓
other questions that I had. do you miss the cell phone holster days?
Idris and Jerry were rocking cell phone holsters and it was awesome. Yeah.
I think I do kind of miss it.
Like it's a little accessory. I don't know. It's just fun. It's like carrying around your little Tamagotchi egg. got your... It's for guys that want to carry a gun, but have to carry a beeper or a flip phone.
I mean, yeah.
I
going to say the first time I saw it on screen in this movie, I was like, is he carrying a gun? I was like, no, I remember those cell phone holsters.
And that's exactly what he wanted your reaction to be when he put that on in the morning. Yeah, holsterin' up.
Badass got yourself a
got yourself a Nokia 9,000. Uh, yeah. And, and. Okay. They're objectively geeky, but I do have to say right now our cell phones keep getting bigger and I just have this bigger and bigger bulge in my pocket and phrasing.
Things are tank.
You and me both.
Well, I lost my train of thought there.
Go on.
You
Anyway, I just think now's the time for a well-designed cell phone holster more than ever.
I agree.
Maybe I can clip it to my shirt or something.
Ha
I'm just gonna get a lanyard and hang my phone from it.
have you read about the iPhone pocket?
No. What is this?
Google iPhone
Pocket real quick.
it's a collaboration between Apple and a designer. This, wasn't what I was asking for when I was thinking about iPhone holders coming back into fashion, but, ⁓ it's, it's super timely.
a little sling.
Looks like a thong for your phone.
Yeah, these bad boys cost 150 bucks. Or actually the there's the short version and then the long one is $230.
No fucking way.
Apple has truly become an accessory and dongle company and no longer a tech company.
⁓ yeah, I guess maybe we need to wait, wait a few weeks. I do not want to be smirch our technology overlords, but I will wait a few weeks for the knockoff version of this because I'm sick of carrying my phone in my pocket.
You hear that, Tim Apple? I'm coming for you.
Yeah, you can just strap that thing around your waist and let it hang
Yeah, speaking of 90s, early 2000s technology, there's a scene where Idris Elba is checking his emails and Lisa sends him an email that does the like old school like spam multiple window pop-ups. Do you remember those? Have you ever had a situation where that happened?
Yeah, yeah,
yeah Not publicly no
Any stories you want to share?
This isn't public. don't have that many listeners. It's just between between you me.
⁓ Yeah, you know early
early days of the internet you find yourself in a number of compromising situations and You might have downloaded something you didn't intend to
Those pop-ups, I'm sure, were responsible for a great many heart attacks back in the day. I think there's nothing so terrifying as seeing a bunch of windows just open up and knowing that you're not going to be able to close them all.
Hahaha
Yep, you're fucked. Just reformat.
Yeah.
I have a burning question. Why is Lisa obsessed Idris Elba's character?
We don't get that at all. I don't know. ⁓
There's
no backstory to her at all that of why she's so obsessive or what about him in particular. Like he's not the only successful, handsome man there.
I mean, he's the most handsome. Idris Elba vs Jerry O'Connell? Come on.
Bruce McGill is in this movie. You're gonna...
⁓ I guess
I gotta look up who Bruce McGill is since you keep bringing him up. Which one was he?
You'll recognize him.
He was the guy that was all into the strip clubs and drinking.
Oh yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, I,
I won't allow this Bruce McGill slander.
He's been in a ton of stuff, but I think I know most from matchstick men. Yeah. I mean, he's definitely, mean, okay. Bruce McGill is, you know, in interest, Elba's league, but, I mean, have points in my band there. Yeah. I have two theories. Well, two thoughts about your question. One theory, one theory is.
Hahaha
That's canon.
Early on in the movie, Beyonce meets her and it's just a total bitch to her. And, ⁓ I could see one interesting thing is she's just like, well, Yep. You were rude to me. I, I mean, it just even says like, she's a better temp than his regular assistant. Like she's just doing her job. Like she hadn't done anything yet. She was just nice and like really efficient at her job. And just because she's beautiful.
Yeah.
I'm gonna ruin your life.
Yeah.
Beyonce's gotta be mean to her. Like, yeah. Fuck her.
Yeah. And I think there's
history there because Beyonce said something about like, agreed no female assistants or something like that. Like she was already insecure because of her dating him while they worked together.
So he's
So he's got to commit discrimination for the rest of his career and only hire men because his wife is so jealous and untrusting.
Yeah
Plus he's got to pay those men like 20 % more. Maybe that gets cut.
that, cut that.
You could probably tell that we don't have much to talk about this movie because we keep going on tangents. but my other thought to answer your question is if there's one decision that they made that I kind of like, it's that they didn't give her any backstory because I think trying to explain it would have made it less scary or thrilling and probably would have just come across as like really
Yeah
cheap exposition. Like what would you say? You'd be like, she was in this other and XYZ happened in that relationship. And so I don't know. There's nothing you, there's nothing she would say that I'd be like, that explains it. Like, it's just better to have that be a mystery.
What
if she's like, you know, escaped from an insane asylum or something? She's more crazy than she appears.
I don't know. I don't think that really does it for me. they have an insane asylums anymore? Like, don't think that's really...
I did see that the
probably not called that anymore. ⁓ That's
probably not the preferred nomenclature. I did see that the director said that his goal for this movie was people talk about the characters motivations. And I'm like, you did a bang up job because I have no idea what their motivations were.
Yeah, I did. I did think that this movie was an interesting horror movie for dudes. Like it definitely had a bit of that. it was a mix of horror and fantasy. Like to think that somebody like her would just throw herself at you and like with without doing anything, she'd be just so enamored with you.
Yeah.
But then also this horror movie aspect of like, how do I deal with this? It seemed really like laser focused on men as the target audience.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think that women would particularly find this scary at all.
Maybe they would find the ending cathartic?
I mean, it's a series of escalating incidences where Ali Larter character breaks into their home and kidnaps their child briefly and. Basically, they install this security system,
They're just trying to keep Ali Larter away. And she breaks into their house. One day Beyonce forgets to set the alarm and Beyonce realizes she forgot. She comes back and they basically have fight. Beyonce kills Ali Larter character
Mm-hmm.
I don't know why they were fighting in the attic.
Just the exhaustion in your voice there.
know, because the scene makes no sense. Okay, so she realizes that Ali Larter is in her house and is like, I'm going to fuck this bitch up. Okay, but still press the panic button and call the cops. Like you installed this big... ⁓
Yeah, they set that up earlier. There
was checkouts panic button that they never came back to.
I know. And then she like, she knows she hears a noise in her house and knows it's been unlocked and unarmed and doesn't like just hit the button then. And then she goes up and realizes the alley larder is like laying in their bed wearing his clothes. And so like, okay, immediately push the button that's right next to you. They even say that, we put a panel up in the master bedroom. So you have one up there and like, she just doesn't do it. And she like takes her sweet ass time walking over there and then
It never gets pushed. And so like this whole whole fist fight was unnecessary if she had just pushed the fucking button like a normal human being would and called the police. They wouldn't have had this. And then they get separated like they're both kind of fall down the stairs unprovoked. I don't know if you noticed that, but they both they're fighting each other and they both just walk to the top of the stairs and then just fall down. we don't know how much time is lost while she's
No. ⁓
Well, they're both in high heels,
so.
Yeah, also true. And so she falls down the stairs, Beyonce does, is like stunned and wakes up and Ali Larter isn't there. So she doesn't know where she is. Great time to go push the fucking button to call the police. But no, she decides, I hear a noise in the attic, I'm going to go up there. And so this attic fight starts. And essentially, Ali Larter falls through the ceiling, clings to a chandelier briefly and then falls to her death.
What did you think of the fist fight, the whole fight sequence?
It was fine.
Because apparently
they, I read something that they started with this scene and wrote backwards from there. Like this was supposed to be the centerpiece of the movie.
Yeah, it was fine. Like it was so it was as a fistfight. It was a fine movie fistfight. But in the context of the movie, I'm like, this is so fucking dumb. And
Yeah, I didn't even like the
fight itself. I felt like it it kept cutting and we're and like clearly it was stunt doubles for part of the time. It's dark in the attic. So the lighting is off and you can't really tell if it's Beyonce or not. it just wasn't I mean, it wasn't visually interesting. I expected more given that this was supposed to be like the big notable scene from the movie and it was kind of a nothing burger.
yeah. Yeah.
so the house set was specifically designed to look like a Hitchcock or Roman Polanski set. So they're intentionally going for like this moody, creepy It was intentionally too large for the family. It was supposed to be unsettling and eerie. I didn't get any of that. I just thought it was a regular house that they it was big.
I didn't... No. No. Me neither.
but they were rich, so that didn't seem weird to me. Yeah.
Yeah. By the way,
would that chandelier actually kill you at the end? It seemed like it fell to her side, Like, we saw no blood.
I don't know. It did. It didn't seem like it. wasn't like,
yeah, no blood. It wasn't like golden eye when the fucking dish falls onto,
006 at the end and kills him after the big fight. Do you remember that scene? Yeah, the huge satellite dish. It wasn't like that. It was just like a little chandelier. It wasn't little, but it wasn't massive. It fell to the side of her and I guess killed her.
The satellite dish? Is that what we're talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it would hurt, but when she was dangling from the attic, was like, that's a kind of a long fall, but I don't think it's fatal. And then, yeah, she pops up and she clearly lived. And then the chandelier fell kind of to her side, adjacent to her. And then the movie ends and it's like, well, maybe rush her to the hospital because I don't think...
Yeah.
she lived.
Yeah.
adjacent.
She's supposed to be dead.
I don't know. At least show some blood. Maybe that's PG-13 coming through.
That cop probably ran in and just immediately jumped to the conclusion that she was dead and didn't know further investigating.
Well,
now that you bring it up, did write down, so Beyonce walks out, the cops running up to the house and the cop asks what happens and Beyonce says, I think you know what happened. And they like nod knowingly like, wait a second. What do you mean? But what is the, you know what happened that, that we had a fight and that
Eeeah
Are you admitting to killing her?
You know, like, what like give her give some more detail. ⁓
We were fighting in the attic and she fell through and she was
hanging from the chandelier. Then she fell, but she was fine. Then the chandelier fell and killed her. You know that happened.
Like the cop,
but the cop hadn't even seen the scene yet. Like give the cop some details before she gets on the scene. Like, yeah.
I know.
You know what happened.
Believe me, she did not know what happened in that house.
That's why she asked.
Also she needs to hear you say it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it was supposed to be cathartic for the ladies.
Any other notes that you had or thoughts or questions?
I don't know, but just talking about that scene made me think of the ending of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and how cathartic that was. Now.
Yeah, this was not that.
I have a couple more notes. One, I don't buy that that house has sprinklers but not an alarm system. They had to get that installed.
I know.
Yeah.
It's a giant house that probably came with.
The previous owners just stuck a chair under the doorknob.
Yeah. Patrick, Idris Elba's assistant. Is he the worst? Lisa calls him and says, like, let's catch up. And Patrick just unprompted spills all the details about where Idris Elba will be.
Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
the complete itinerary
Elba and his whole family to a woman who no longer works there and he even says, I shouldn't be talking to you
Yeah.
they're going to what's
her name's mom's birthday and we'll be leaving at five o'clock. Yeah.
Yeah, they're flying out this morning.
Idris is leaving first. And then I'm like, what the fuck? Fire this person.
⁓
They could have had her figure out what was happening a different way. She could have just been watching the house and that would have been much better.
I know
she was watching the house or you see that she called him from in front of the house. Yeah, he should have been fired.
Yeah.
So dumb.
Did you notice the scene when he was on the offsite with his coworkers where they were all eating dinner together, but they were all sitting on one side of the table?
No.
It was a really weird shot. I don't know what they were doing. It wasn't. Yeah, it didn't seem like they were sitting at a bar either. It just seemed like they were sitting at like a like a picnic table and they were all on one side. I thought that was weird.
Team bonding.
Yeah.
So, how naughty would you rate this movie?
It's like a one.
Yeah. Okay. So, so let's recap our naughty November movies. 50 shades of gray out of 10. What would you give it?
I think.
shit, I don't remember. think I gave it a seven, yeah. And then I gave Showgirls an eight and a half. I really... Eight.
You gave it a seven, I think.
You gave it an eight.
I mean, if you want to increase it, would strongly urge.
Well, I mean, I would completely
revise them now. I... Okay. My final rankings, would give... 50 shades of gray, I'd give an eight.
Okay, now that you've seen these four, let's give your updated rankings.
Showgirls is a 10. Strip-tease.
Yep, clearly.
I don't know, think I still stick with the three, three and a half.
Okay,
let me reset the bottom of your ranking. Let's assume that a one is like, I don't know, Beauty and the Beast.
On the naughty scale. Okay, strip tease is one and a half.
One and a half then. Cause
this does involve adult themes and not just cartoon.
Wait, wait, you're saying strip tease is still a three and this is a one and a half?
Yeah. Three and a well, three and half for strip tease. I just don't think it's that scandalous to see Demi Moore's boobs because like that happened. That happened 30 years ago. It's not like that's old hat at this point.
All right. Okay.
I mean
Wait, so there's a statute of limitations on so you can watch porn from like hundred years ago and it's like, that's fine. This is history now.
Yeah, Demi Moore's boobs have been...
They're
public domain by this point. It's not like I'm rushing out to the Cineplex to go see the new Demi Moore thing because she might be naked in it and nobody's ever seen that before. Her boobs have been a thing in public consciousness for my entire life. So when I see it, I'm just like, OK.
It's archival footage.
⁓ I don't understand that logic. And remind me.
I mean, and it's not like
it's a huge part of the movie either. Like the movie generally is not about like stripping or dancing or boobs or anything. Like that's such a minor part of the overall story that I was just like, it's just what she does for work. wasn't naughty for me.
All right, so when you babysit next, please don't put anything ⁓ on for the kids to watch because I don't trust your rating system.
Ha
My rating system has no flaws.
⁓
I think I'll rely on the MPAA rating.
Yeah, don't let me raise your kids. Jesus. That would be your first mistake.
Hahaha
⁓
Well, yeah, we already talked about verdicts at a high level. Anything else you want to give in terms of your verdicts about this movie?
I did read that the costumes were intentionally contrasting between Ali Larter and Beyonce, which I thought was interesting. don't know that I picked it up in the in the first viewing, but it is true. No, I mean, I mean, the Ali Larter character, they gave her intentionally like classic clean, you know,
Yeah.
You don't have an eye for women's fashion.
outfits and line business stuff, know, pencil skirts and stuff. And like, I noticed that, but I wasn't like, this is a choice. I guess everything's a choice on screen, but.
Yeah, I did notice her red bottom shoes felt like probably a little pricey for a temp. She was dressed very well for a temp.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think, I don't know, I think that this movie could have been really good if they had not sanitized it so much with Idris Elba not wanting any racial tension and Beyonce wanting nothing sexual or controversial or scandalous in this movie. yeah, it was I don't know why they chose to do the subject. I saw that Beyonce took the role because it was her first non singing role.
Right.
Which I don't have an issue with, but why did you choose this subject to be your first movie if you don't want to be adult about it?
Yeah.
Yeah, one of my hot takes is that probably the worst thing that happened to this movie was that Beyonce got attached to it. Like I think she was fine in it. I think she did well. think paired with that hot take is that I think it's it's obvious in hindsight why she never became a successful film actor is because I think it seemed like she just couldn't take the risks that it would require.
Yeah.
Yeah, her aura is too big.
Yeah. And that's fine for, mean, she's obviously incredibly successful and probably much more upside and focusing on her music career and upside there. But if it meant that she couldn't take any risks in this movie, then that that wasn't good for her. And that wasn't good for this movie.
Yep. 100 % agree.
But yeah, overall for me, like I said, this movie was pretty meh. I probably, I strain to say I liked it. I didn't really, but it would have been a completely fine airplane movie. Like to watch half paying attention to on a flight where I'm a little bit sleepy. Like it's fine. It's passable. So.
Yeah.
It was watchable. I gave it one star.
I think we need to spend some more time on your star ratings because I don't understand sometimes how... So you're saying this is exactly the same as War of the Worlds in terms of how you rate it? Wasn't that one star?
I think it's perfect.
Probably. It was no more than two.
Well, hopefully War of the Worlds wasn't better than this.
This was no, I don't I don't think so. They're both like War of the Worlds is just so bad that you can't look away. That's different. This was watchable, but bad. But neither one like I don't think that I would willingly rewatch either of these movies. I think that they're like I think they're ultimately uninteresting. So.
Yeah.
I agree.
Yeah.
I
don't know, one star seems right for me for a movie that I didn't like, really. And I'll forget about and I would never watch again.
Maybe we need to go to a Siskel and Ebert thumbs up, thumbs down rating system. Yeah. What would be your alternate pick?
That might be better for me, actually.
Well, I picked another probably sanitized Beyonce vehicle. Cadillac Records. I really like that movie. Adrian Brody. It's about like the blues in Chicago back in the day. I know nobody that I know has seen it, even though I've recommended it a bunch of times and I just want someone I know to watch it. So.
Okay.
All right, never seen that maybe.
Well,
you've never recommended it to me.
Well, you think every classic rock song is Journey, so I don't think that...
⁓
I thought you said it's about the blues.
you know blues then
I mean, much better than I know Journey.
Okay, all right. Well, you should watch this movie then. We'll talk about it.
I don't know. I don't believe you. Is it a biopic? Okay.
You hate biopics. ⁓ Yeah, it's Beyonce
plays at a James. There's little Walter and Howlin Wolf and all those old guys in it. But yeah.
How many stars
do you give this movie?
Cadillac Records?
Yeah.
six and a half.
I'm calling HR.
But I think I have an affinity for, you know, the subject matter and I like biopics. So I think it's probably like a seven or an eight, but I think overall, I'm viewing it objectively as just a movie among all movies and taking myself out of it, it's probably a six and a half.
Well, my pick is House of Dynamite that just came out recently on Netflix. I'm about to tell you. ⁓ It's co-stars Idris Elba and I watched it recently. That's why it's my pick. It is a political thriller by Catherine Bigelow who did Hurt Locker, Zero Dark Thirty.
the fuck is that?
Okay, I'm ready.
Point Break. ⁓ Also stars Rebecca Ferguson, Jared Harris, who you like. What? Tracy Letts?
⁓ I've heard of this.
I've watched this fucking movie.
Ha ha ha!
my
gosh, you need to get some sleep.
Yeah, I've watched too many movies. I was telling you earlier, but I haven't said on the podcast. I watched four movies yesterday, so I'm all high strung.
Hahaha
Yeah.
Well, this is my pick. actually Idris Elba. I felt gave one of his worst performances that I've seen in a while and his part in this movie. didn't, I didn't enjoy the, the, the final part of this movie, which is where he features.
but I felt like the first two parts of the movie more than made up for it. I gave this movie three and a half stars out of five. I think it's solid, not great, but I enjoyed
Wait, have we been doing out of five this whole time? Five stars? I've been doing 10.
I guess on the naughty scale, we've been doing it out of 10, but usually I use my letterbox rating system when I think about reading movies themselves, which is out of five.
Alright, I gotta get this shit standardized.
Yeah, we'll work on it before the next pod.
⁓ next month we'll be on a different theme. looking forward to getting away from the naughty movies. if you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe on Apple or Spotify. Feel free to send us an email, any email at all at the worst movie podcast at gmail.com. Give us your feedback. anything else for us to cover?
I got nothing.
I think that's about all we can say. Probably never think about or talk about obsessed again.
I've already forgotten.
I don't doubt it.
I'm Ade,
I'm Aaron, thanks for watching and listening to the Worst Movie Podcast.